Author Topic: Castles of Delinquency  (Read 129 times)

Offline UnverifiedPost

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Castles of Delinquency
« on: March 14, 2019, 04:59:05 am »
The Sun has just about set and, with it, the brutal heat flees the air. A comfortable coolness replaces it, but our skin is still hot from the day before. The sounds of residential commuters and backyard cookouts has since passed too and now only passing cars on the highway are heard. Across the city and the Ocean, we see the mountains of another mighty land and above, a fine blue sky that’s been hiding for nearly eight months. This day had been one of our many pilgrimages and now we would sow it atop this hill.

There is something remarkable about the vividness of some memories. I’m sure we all used to feel like the Summers never end. It’s easy to feel that way when you’ve got that hot Sun, a whole lot of nothing to do, and a couple friends to get into trouble with. I still feel like it never ends. If I can remember it so vividly, then maybe it’s still happening somehow. If not, I know there’ll be a handful of kids back home getting into the same shit I did back in the day. When I can stand out here on this icy street corner at four in the morning 3,500 miles away and be brought back all those years by a simple smell, it has to still be real.

That’s how it started: a smell. I’m pretty sure I didn’t even actually smell anything when it all came to me. It was as if my wandering mind just selected a random smell, triggering a montage of reminiscing. I recognized the smell as that of long yellow grass, hot pavement, and endless days. That feeling of heat when you look up and around you at all the gold and blue. Bumming around suburbia and up on hills, our castles of delinquency. Spent weeks recording in a buddy’ attic, we’ve got a show tomorrow. My best gal would have been by my side afterwards, Colt 45 down by the creak too.

I pray to God I don’t have a son, so he doesn’t have to grow old, longing for these days.
Who am I to judge? I am not God. I am the Damned.

Powerful Bad Boys

Castles of Delinquency
« on: March 14, 2019, 04:59:05 am »

Offline Lucid

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Re: Castles of Delinquency
« Reply #1 on: March 15, 2019, 02:20:06 am »
This post resonates with me in a very deep, emotional place. I often get caught up in the thought of the apple orchards back home, the hot summer nights, the crickets chirping, frogs croaking, the starry night sky. All the shenanigans we got it up to in our last hurrah before we all went our separate directions. The parties and the carefree weekends. It all feels so far away from me now. Most of those people from my fondest memories I haven't talked to in years.

I'm happy now. I have a group of close friends where I'm at. I have a well paying job in the big city lined up for me after I graduate here soon. But I don't know. I get filled with this dreadful feeling that nothing will ever be the same. I know it's stupid to try and be a kid forever but I just want to be able to go back and experience those feelings again, the purest feelings of serenity and joy I ever felt, on those hot summer nights. Just once I'd like to be there again.


Offline fodcom

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Re: Castles of Delinquency
« Reply #2 on: March 16, 2019, 10:51:43 am »
Really like this post. Pilgrimages usually have all the sentimental feelings. And the grasslands of yesteryear remind me of living back home with my grandparents. Definitely something of a rustic nature.
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Offline UnverifiedPost

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Re: Castles of Delinquency
« Reply #3 on: March 21, 2019, 04:59:17 am »
@Ryan

I know it's stupid to try and be a kid forever but I just want to be able to go back and experience those feelings again, the purest feelings of serenity and joy I ever felt, on those hot summer nights. Just once I'd like to be there again.

I’m not sure how similar this is, but they’re connected in my weary mind somehow: I was getting dinner with my friend and she told me of this feeling she gets sometimes. It’s a feeling of loneliness, but not in the way you may think. It’s a loneliness that’s unrelated to when you last talked to your friends, parents, etc. It’s the feeling of being fundementally alone in this universe all the way to your core.

I was immediately enthralled to hear that she, and thus likely many people, have experienced this sentiment. It’s one I’ve been experiencing quite often these day. Everytime it strikes, I try to remember a time before this feeling of loneliness. Anyways, this is all related to the above quote, I suppose, because the only time I can think of is when I was a young dumb kid bumming around with the gang as a time before this feeling. I would feel sad and that from time to time, but I always had my friends.

Now, however, when sadness strikes, when the cold creeps in through the window pane, when you see an elderly person struggling crawl, you’re on your own.

My guess is that this unironically means it’s time I get my ass to Church.

Lastly, this sensation needs a different word than loneliness, that doesn’t cut it. Let me know what you think.

@Fodcom

Really like this post. Pilgrimages usually have all the sentimental feelings. And the grasslands of yesteryear remind me of living back home with my grandparents. Definitely something of a rustic nature.

Thank you for the kind words. Pilgrimages are something, that’s for sure. I’ve been on a few great journeys and am always telling myself to get around to reading Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales. That’s some beautiful imagery I get from your reminiscing there. The days of yore are gone, but never forgotten.
« Last Edit: March 21, 2019, 05:04:41 am by UnverifiedPost »
Who am I to judge? I am not God. I am the Damned.

Powerful Bad Boys

Re: Castles of Delinquency
« Reply #3 on: March 21, 2019, 04:59:17 am »

 


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