Author Topic: Simple Steps to stop your Student Film from being a Student Film  (Read 165 times)

Offline PunchingArianaGrande

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1. Stop filming the sky

2. Stop filming the ground

3. Stop filming trees

4. Stop filming puddles

5. Stop filming leaves

6. Stop filming fields

8. Stop filming hands

9. Stop filming faces

10. Stop using tracking shots every time someone moves

11. Stop moving the camera

12. Stop filming everything from 5 different angles

Please suggest more. I've wondered for so long how I see these things being made, and how these people exist.

I am terrified by the prospect of there being hundreds, maybe even thousands of "young filmmakers" in any given city. Imagine how many music videos are being shot using DSLRs. It could be happening anywhere, right now, and you wouldn't know. Imagine how many young filmmakers are filming shots of nature, RIGHT NOW. I hope you haven't planted any trees, because they are going to break into your garden to film the sunlight through the branches. They are waiting until after dark to go into the city when no one else is around. If you happen to be there too, get as far away as possible from every non-natural source of light, ESPECIALLY lamps and neon signs, because they WILL find it, and they WILL film it. If you are reading a book in public, it is worth looking over your shoulder at the end of every page to see if anyone is filming you as you turn the page. If you are walking down a street, be it day or night, turn around periodically to make sure nobody is following you. Never venture into a forest alone. When taking public transport after dark, never look out of the window for an extended period of time, as they will take this as an invitation to film you. Always jump backwards and forwards and move around so that they can't shift from a soft focus of the background to a hard focus on your face, as they WILL be trying to do this, even if you can't see them.
I wrestle daily with this problem: are the filming crew behind Dude Perfect more talented than young filmmakers, or are there actually young filmmakers out there who have talent? It terrifies me, and pretty soon we will find out just how much the film industry is about who you know, and how much of it involves people who actually have talent. Stanley Kubrick basically got into film because he saw how shit most films were. The problem is, there are also student films which are actually good now, and they're all on YouTube. People think the YouTube gaming community is oversaturated. All it takes to succeed there is finding an untapped market, establishing yourself and breaking in. You know the gaming lemon? I could have been him if I had a recording card when I was 15. I had the idea for minecraft xbox news videos first. The real over-saturation is in student filmmakers. No one wants to watch a student film, especially not other "aspiring filmmakers". ASPIRING = ASPIRIN. Who's going to hire Stanley Kubrick? Who's going to pay for Stanley Kubrick's short documentary he filmed? Fucking NO ONE! Xavier Dolan is young (30) and successful, what's his big secret! He was a CHILD ACTOR who had HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS to put towards his first movie, his Dad literally FOUNDED a company that pays artists, and he got his first film straight to big festivals, I think he was lucky! Damien Chazelle is young (34) and succesful, what's his big secret! Hmmmmmm he went to HARVARD after FAILING as a musician, his Dad is a professor at PRINCETON who is a fellow of the American Academy of Arts and Sciences ("go get 'em, squirt!"), how did he afford all that? Maybe pop-pop gave squirt a little "helping hand" along the way with a helping hand from his helpful handymen in the AAAS (ASS).

Well I've been well over an hour now watching student films and reading Wikipedia pages, so time to sign off. If you take nothing else from this you can use my 12 Simple Steps to help you out. And as it turns out Damien Chazelle was actually good and not a retard making movies about anxiety or people walking through woodland areas in the summer. So maybe the key is simply to be smart, in which case we're all safe because we are Yogi Bears compared to the common rabble, I honestly believe that, I don't feel ashamed to say it, and I want to know your opinions: https://www.strawpoll.me/18043256

Please share your opinions on student filmmakers, short films on YouTube, the film industry: past/present/future, etc.

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Offline Rich Sweet

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Re: Simple Steps to stop your Student Film from being a Student Film
« Reply #1 on: May 23, 2019, 09:09:13 pm »
I get paid to film weddings on a handheld DSLR

Offline VelvetSphincter

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Re: Simple Steps to stop your Student Film from being a Student Film
« Reply #2 on: May 23, 2019, 09:54:53 pm »
Tracking shots are awesome tho. I'd argue that you should just make what you want and do what you think is cool. regardless of if its cliche or not. Don't strive to make The ShawshankRedemption the first time around.


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Offline PunchingArianaGrande

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Re: Simple Steps to stop your Student Film from being a Student Film
« Reply #3 on: May 24, 2019, 04:48:38 am »
Tracking shots are awesome tho. I'd argue that you should just make what you want and do what you think is cool. regardless of if its cliche or not. Don't strive to make The ShawshankRedemption the first time around.

These people use tracking shots when someone is going to buy an ice cream

Offline VelvetSphincter

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Re: Simple Steps to stop your Student Film from being a Student Film
« Reply #4 on: May 24, 2019, 05:39:12 am »
Tracking shots are awesome tho. I'd argue that you should just make what you want and do what you think is cool. regardless of if its cliche or not. Don't strive to make The ShawshankRedemption the first time around.

These people use tracking shots when someone is going to buy an ice cream

Well if the school has a dolly use the fucker.


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Offline PunchingArianaGrande

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Re: Simple Steps to stop your Student Film from being a Student Film
« Reply #5 on: May 24, 2019, 06:47:17 am »
Oh God NO don't mention "film school"

Offline VelvetSphincter

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Re: Simple Steps to stop your Student Film from being a Student Film
« Reply #6 on: May 24, 2019, 02:06:04 pm »
My film school was full of plebs and I was too autistic to get any projects done.


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Offline PunchingArianaGrande

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Re: Simple Steps to stop your Student Film from being a Student Film
« Reply #7 on: May 25, 2019, 07:34:06 pm »
My film school was full of plebs and I was too autistic to get any projects done.

Did you go to it instead of college or was it a part-time thing?
Not surprised at the plebs thing either way, although I would still expect there to be some full-blown "cinephiles" at a film school.

Offline VelvetSphincter

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Re: Simple Steps to stop your Student Film from being a Student Film
« Reply #8 on: May 25, 2019, 08:19:30 pm »
It was community college. It was more for technical stuff.


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Offline 0_-

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Re: Simple Steps to stop your Student Film from being a Student Film
« Reply #9 on: May 27, 2019, 06:43:10 pm »
I always have the urge to go out and waste 3000 dollars on a nice camera and lens just because I have nothing else to buy. I know 100% that it would end up sitting on the shelf unused. I also know that if I tried to take good photos, maybe it would get a few likes on Facebook, but people would also think I am a fool and a guppy for buying camera gear I can't afford, all for the sake a few Facebook likes.

So that is the one thing I want to buy but will never buy until I'm like 20 years older than I am now. And I really don't want a whole lot else. I can also look down on poor people who buy cameras, so I have that going for me.
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Offline _jim_

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Re: Simple Steps to stop your Student Film from being a Student Film
« Reply #10 on: May 29, 2019, 01:27:39 am »
i once dated a girl who went to film school and she said she's never seen a tarantino or kubrick film. i'm still unsure if this is a good or bad thing.
the older i get the more terrified i become of house fires

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Re: Simple Steps to stop your Student Film from being a Student Film
« Reply #10 on: May 29, 2019, 01:27:39 am »

 


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