Author Topic: Been feeling a little down lately  (Read 128 times)

Offline Lucid

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Been feeling a little down lately
« on: July 19, 2019, 12:27:28 am »
Been sleeping in too late, staying up too late. Haven't gotten anything done that I set out to do. I moved to the city and all I want is to go back to life in a small town and sit on the porch and listen to the summer frogs and crickets. I have a nervous tick that causes my neck and face muscles to spasm uncontrollably if I get too stressed out for prolonged periods of time and it's been worse than ever. I dropped the ball hard on my own creative projects and I haven't been able to put much into them. My cokehead friend who I supported and took to rehab when everyone in his life disowned him just stole money from me to buy Super Smash Bros. I tried to smoke weed to loosen up even though I never do that, it's legal here, and it ended up making me spiral down in a nightmare of hallucinatory visions and thoughts about death and my own mortality.

Don't mean to bitch but does anyone here have any uplifting or positive things to share? Really need to get myself out of this rut.
« Last Edit: July 20, 2019, 11:24:24 pm by Lucid »

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Been feeling a little down lately
« on: July 19, 2019, 12:27:28 am »

Online MommyBuster69

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Re: Been feeling a little down lately
« Reply #1 on: July 19, 2019, 12:49:04 am »
Be glad that you are out on your own. I'm 24 and live with my mom still. See a movie at the theatre. During the week when its empty. I skipped work tuesday to do that. Saw midsommar and spiderman. Felt a lot better.
« Last Edit: July 19, 2019, 12:51:16 am by VelvetSphincter »

Offline Lucid

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Re: Been feeling a little down lately
« Reply #2 on: July 19, 2019, 01:29:03 am »
Be glad that you are out on your own. I'm 24 and live with my mom still. See a movie at the theatre. During the week when its empty. I skipped work tuesday to do that. Saw midsommar and spiderman. Felt a lot better.

How was midsommar? Been meaning to see it

Online MommyBuster69

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Re: Been feeling a little down lately
« Reply #3 on: July 19, 2019, 02:27:31 am »
Turned a bit too exploitationy about halfway through, but a good way to kill 2 and a half hours. If you are feeling shitty I'd reccomend not seeing it though. Might be a bit intense


Id also reccomend talking to your family. Let them know how you are feeling
« Last Edit: July 19, 2019, 03:41:21 am by VelvetSphincter »

Offline pizzacorruption

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Re: Been feeling a little down lately
« Reply #4 on: July 19, 2019, 03:31:24 pm »
I tried to smoke weed to loosen up even though I never do that, it's legal here, and it ended up making me spiral down in a nightmare of hallucinatory visions and thoughts about death and my own mortality.

what kinda weed makes you do that damn

Offline Mind Jelqer

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Re: Been feeling a little down lately
« Reply #5 on: July 19, 2019, 06:15:10 pm »
Sometimes weed legit just shows you the void. Even if it's good stuff.

Offline Krush Jeanjacket

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Re: Been feeling a little down lately
« Reply #6 on: July 19, 2019, 06:44:21 pm »
You aren't dead yet bro. You're an admin on an old skool forum full of free thinkers and wackadoos, and you busted your ass to learn game dev stuff without breaking a sweat. Do you know how braindead and tech illiterate the ease of access that comes with smartphones has made the average American?? Most people won't accomplish jack shit in their entire lives and they're perfectly fine with watching the Hellfire melt anything that could've resembled their legacy. Bro I'm drinking mountain dew gamefuel and eating wal mart fried chicken that gave me diarrhea the first time around as I gamble on funny money. You're fine.

Was the cokehead a friend from your childhood? Even if so, kick his ass to the curb for betraying your trust if you haven't already. I haven't quite been in his position but I have been a druggie who's exploited a lot of people that trusted me to get something out of them. Still am, in a sense. If people could change that easy then we'd all be better by now. Point is, you seem like a top bloke and I'd love to sit around the fire and listen to the peepers peep and the owls hoo while I strum on my gitar I haven't learned to play yet

what kinda weed makes you do that damn

Shit is so strong nowadays, oil and shatter isn't even like smoking weed anymore man, it's like actually doing drugs. Weed has eaten up so much of my fucking life man, don't do it my niggas

Offline Lucid

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Re: Been feeling a little down lately
« Reply #7 on: July 19, 2019, 11:29:29 pm »
You aren't dead yet bro. You're an admin on an old skool forum full of free thinkers and wackadoos, and you busted your ass to learn game dev stuff without breaking a sweat. Do you know how braindead and tech illiterate the ease of access that comes with smartphones has made the average American?? Most people won't accomplish jack shit in their entire lives and they're perfectly fine with watching the Hellfire melt anything that could've resembled their legacy. Bro I'm drinking mountain dew gamefuel and eating wal mart fried chicken that gave me diarrhea the first time around as I gamble on funny money. You're fine.

Was the cokehead a friend from your childhood? Even if so, kick his ass to the curb for betraying your trust if you haven't already. I haven't quite been in his position but I have been a druggie who's exploited a lot of people that trusted me to get something out of them. Still am, in a sense. If people could change that easy then we'd all be better by now. Point is, you seem like a top bloke and I'd love to sit around the fire and listen to the peepers peep and the owls hoo while I strum on my gitar I haven't learned to play yet

what kinda weed makes you do that damn

Shit is so strong nowadays, oil and shatter isn't even like smoking weed anymore man, it's like actually doing drugs. Weed has eaten up so much of my fucking life man, don't do it my niggas

Thanks for the response man. Feels good to get this shit out.

My friend and I met through youth symphonies way back in the day. I was a violinist and he was a violist. He was a real talented kid, got a full ride scholarship to a nice university to play in their orchestra. He got gifted an insanely expensive viola, we're talking cream of the crop, and he got it stolen from him at Uni. Subsequently got into a bad crowd, partied too hard and dropped out, then got into the drug scene, got into coke, the rest is history. One morning he called me up and told me that he needed to go to rehab, but his car was impounded for drunk driving and he had no one left in his life who could take him there. So I woke up early, bought him breakfast and drove him out to the rehab facility where I'd hoped he'd get his shit back together. Now he's off the coke as far as I know, but still living with a drug dealer who supplies him with an endless stream of weed and alcohol. He does nothing but sit on a broken couch and play PC games all day high off his ass. Fucking disappointing man. I wanted that shit to turn him around so bad, not make him into a zombie.

As for the weed, I just bought a cartridge of oil from the dispensary down the road. One puff and it was full psychotic breakdown mode. All schizo posting aside, the only way I can describe it is as something truly demonic. I still have the rest of the cartridge stuffed away in a drawer and I'm almost too afraid to even look at it anymore. I'm no novice, I've partaken in it before on social occasions and I've never felt anything nearly to the level I did that night. The things I saw and felt man. It'll stick with me.

Offline franktjmaxx

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Re: Been feeling a little down lately
« Reply #8 on: July 20, 2019, 01:18:19 am »
sometimes i feel like the things that "keep me going" are just that, things that keep me going to no other end and when theyre over or wear off something new and equally useless will take its place and keep me going for a little while longer. for the most part this works with no problems but there are moments in between these phases where you've got no thing or a new thing and all u can see in front of you is just nothing, just time ticking by. shame

keep truckin

Offline Winky(AFK 6 Months)

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Re: Been feeling a little down lately
« Reply #9 on: July 20, 2019, 09:51:00 pm »
focus on the chemical part of things because spiritually we are all garbage and have always been garbage, spiritually we have always been a work in progress and spiritually we cannot improve as long as we are stuck in an unhealthy brain and body

you need some sort of lever you can work on as far as brain chemicals go, BDNF is the best one I know of:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brain-derived_neurotrophic_factor#Depression

so you want to upregulate this.

the quick way I do this is to take niacin (the instant kind that gives you a huge flush), first thing in the morning on an empty stomach. the flush sucks bad and it can even be quite uncomfortable in the tummy, and I find I am also extremely hungry right after, but I take that 500 mg niacin and that upregulates BDNF, which means your body is more sensitive to it.

from that same wikipedia article:

Certain types of physical exercise have been shown to markedly (threefold) increase BDNF synthesis in the human brain, a phenomenon which is partly responsible for exercise-induced neurogenesis and improvements in cognitive function.[13][20][21][22][23] Niacin appears to upregulate BDNF and tropomyosin receptor kinase B (TrkB) expression as well.[24]

So you need to get out jogging too. The more intense the exercise the better. You can physically see the brain growing in electro scans of the brain where it can be regrown, after between 3-6 months.

Quit porn and jerking off, that is a huge cause of depression. Even if you aren't having sex, if you just have a normal brain that doesn't focus on sex, the body can reabsorb all that back into the body. It's just important to engage in creative activities if you are single like that, that energy needs to go somewhere so be creative.

Personally I take SAM-e every single day, which works as an anti-depressant. It's not perscription. It sucks to take something and sometimes I go off it so I can feel terrible and get a better idea of where I actually am in life. But I also don't have time to slow down and reenter back into depression when I am working so hard and seeing some success with what i'm doing. Actually I take a hell of a lot, 2400 mg, which is like 5 dollars a days worth of supplements. But I've spent enough of my life depressed, anxious and in some sort of nihilist spell, I need to provide myself the chance to break out of that. Once I hit the ground running sometime in the future I can look at winding off it. Need to count your blessings and if you are provided with some sort of magic key out of depression like I have been, be grateful with it instead of demanding perfection out of life. Some people are born with perfect biologies. Again not a SSRI or anything like that and the body naturally produces it, some people just genetically break these neurotransmitters faster than others like me for example, so I take countermeasures against that so I can keep moving.

fiber is important, again for BDNF, inulin, psyllium husk, many different kinds.

Diet is important, keto is ideal. Fasting upregulates BDNF.

don't smoke weed etc, boomers could get away with that but there is no way that you can get away with that, nor I.

Have like 3 beer once every couple of months, something like that

Many of you are working terrible jobs that I can't imagine working, if you are working a job that doesn't provide you with a ton of comfort, then you have every incentive not to work that bad job. You should be looking through job listings over months and years and one day that magic job will pop up, that rare vacancy. Put all the energy and effort and time into the resume, all their questions, etc. Everything to the nines.

I wrote a huge book back when I used to be on ADD meds many years ago, I will never take those meds again so this writing is a one time deep dive into my mind that you can take a look at, I wrote a mini book on this exact subject that contains everything you could possibly want to know:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Prebiotics/comments/4iziwz/mini_reddit_book_work_inprogress/?st=j0e4v3v3&sh=7596cbc3

Also keep in mind that there are a lot of depressed people who are flying high and don't give a F, they do things the way they do them and can't be told anything... I think its some sort of epigenetic dysregulation that negatively impacts their learning behaviors... they can show temporary improvements but engage in long term psychological cycles that return back into the depths of depression... your learning behaviors are priority 1 to maintain, improve, etc, if you can't learn then you are finished before you began. Guess what ties in with learning behaviors? BDNF. exercise. BDNF. everyone, even Sam Hyde will recommend intense exercise if you are feeling blue. because BDNF. so my other advice is just on how to target that from other angles.

Once you get your body right then you can address the spiritual depression. That's what we are here on earth to do so you don't need to be too hard on yourself about it.

Offline ambianceur

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Re: Been feeling a little down lately
« Reply #10 on: July 27, 2019, 03:58:25 pm »
One puff and it was full psychotic breakdown mode. All schizo posting aside, the only way I can describe it is as something truly demonic. I still have the rest of the cartridge stuffed away in a drawer and I'm almost too afraid to even look at it anymore. I'm no novice, I've partaken in it before on social occasions and I've never felt anything nearly to the level I did that night. The things I saw and felt man. It'll stick with me.

Had this shit happen to me with some acid a few weeks ago and it's still haunting me. Was having a final hurrah with a friend of mine who I had been through the real neck-deep shit with and wouldn't see again. I had been having some bad emotional problems that I knew real acid could help me push through so it seemed like the perfect time. I took 2 tabs that seemed in every way to be legit and went to the beach. It hit me as I was laying down and I immediately realized this wasn't ordinary or real LSD. I spiraled into my mind and lost all sense of space and time and I was stuck in a crimson-red melting void for what felt like weeks or months. When I could see again I shambled to the water and tried to force myself to throw up but I couldn't. The rest of the day was a collapsing of my sense of time and memory and I felt that I had been forever stuck in this timeless void for an eternity before and would remain in for an eternity since and that all of my memories were only a momentary dream I had just a moment before. I dipped my toes too far into ego death and saw only a recursive self-experiental void.

I managed to keep myself from freaking out too bad externally but that feeling of timelessness, of eternal arrest, of all my existence being only an instantaneous passing daydream, still sticks with me. It was the deepest cosmic horror and I would never wish that sensation upon anyone. Perhaps Chuck is still just peddling vapor but I don't think he's too far off when he described substances that alter your state of consciousness as demons. Be careful out there

Powerful Bad Boys

Re: Been feeling a little down lately
« Reply #10 on: July 27, 2019, 03:58:25 pm »

 


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